my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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