I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
