Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
