drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
