OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
