I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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