TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize