i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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