my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he fucked my hip out of place.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
