My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i was born a porn star she said
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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