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it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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