She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Let the clothes fall where they may.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
