i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just cropdusted the office
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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