She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
