there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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