some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
