How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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