The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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