Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
