I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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