awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The best revenge is premature balding
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
