Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
