she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
