Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
When did angry sex become our thing?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize