apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
