the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
They took my balls.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
