I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
