Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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