David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Go christen that room with your naked body.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
