But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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