i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
