I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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