i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
