Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize