and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
