it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
