You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
