the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So much Jack, so little girl.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
