i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
