I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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