There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
