i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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