If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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