and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
