I accidentally had phone sex last night
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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