Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize