That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
