so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
