I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
