and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
