He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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