i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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