She's JV to your varsity
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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