I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
