U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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