i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
