I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
