Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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